We have been married for almost 20 years. Steve Lutz is a psychologist at Counseling Care in the Woodbury area and has been in the field for more than 30 years. He specializes in working with married couples, families, and pastors. Michelle Lutz is a professor at the University of Northwestern in St. Paul and has been teaching for over 25 years. She specializes in teaching English, education, debate, and speech communications.

 

Additionally, we have been involved in ministry leadership throughout our lives in a variety of ways. We have led and been a part of several marriage groups. We have also counseled couples together.

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Years ago, we attended a Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work weekend seminar in Chicago. The content for this seminar was based on the book The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by John Gottman. At the time, our twins were toddlers, and we were feeling overwhelmed. Most parents can relate to this, especially when raising young kids! We deeply loved our girls, and we were having so much fun with them, but as a couple, we were arguing a lot more, not prioritizing each other, and we were feeling misunderstood and disconnected in some ways. We were also getting triggered by some old wounds from our past.

 

However, during the Seven Principles seminar, we learned new skills on how to manage conflict and listen to each other more effectively. We also learned how to deepen our connection, gained new skills on how to help each other heal from our pasts, and we walked away with key strategies on how to prioritize each other, even in the midst of a very busy season of life. This workshop had such a significant impact on our relationship that we decided to become Seven Principle leaders. In 2017, we flew out to Seattle for leadership training. We completed our certification, and after that, we started our marriage ministry, Real Connection, because we wanted to help other couples create happier, healthier, and more God-centered marriages!